~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

The thoughts of an odd duck who sits alone in a night cafe, with a stylo in his right, a journal in his left, a valise under his chaise, a tasse on the table, and plenty of time to pass.

~ Salut! Come and join me at Table #12 |Leaving so soon? Ecrivez-Moi! ~

As of right now, patrons have patronized me. I feel...

The current mood of wearytraveller at www.imood.com

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~ dimanche, décembre 22, 2002 ~

Goodness! Black-tie dinner affair at the Hilton tonight! I'm going to starve myself today until supper then. Anyway, so yeah, I'm going to my mother's annual company Christmas Party tonight and I am really looking foreward to it. They hold it in the classiest of restaurants. Speaking of class, I very much look forward to the tea social at the Khan Estate too. I've always wanted to go to a tea social. I'm probably the only guy who ever desired to do such a thing. The closest I have ever been to a tea social is a tea party with my little girly cousins and they've grown and now they're a bit odd. Goodness, I hope it wasn't my play-doh cookies. Anyway, this blog has nothing to do whatsoever with anything at all. I'm just blogging for the heck of it. Maybe I'll just edit this blog later into something worth reading... Until then, Happy Christmas! or Kwanzaa, or Hannukah, er... yeah.

~Benjamin 12/22/2002 12:50:00 PM

After reading a few blogs this morning, I was prompted to go through my box of memories. I walked to my chambre, came to my special hiding place and took out my dusty little keeper, which I recieved from a friend, a long, long time ago. It was a small box but its contents were big. Very, very big. I looked through my souvenirs and memoric affairs... searching for nothing in particular except a memory, which I could return to. Real* nostalgia was the objective of my quest. I read old notes and not-so-old lettres and my eyes were suddenly overcome by a cool, moist flow. I wondered how different my life could be if I had pursued a stupid emotion, a small dream, a special person. I don't know if I should feel regretful or if I should feel contented. All I know is that, whether I should or not, I feel nostalgic about the way things were, the feelings I had; and I feel wonder at the way things could be, the emotions I hold; and I feel it all here... <3 (Sorry, it's a heart distorted by the life's fonts)

~Benjamin 12/22/2002 12:51:00 AM

~ vendredi, décembre 20, 2002 ~

The sky today was gloriously gorgeous!!! It is the most beautiful sky I have ever seen in Duarte... ever in my 15 years in this town!!! I was on 210 freeway and I looked up and I was awed by the whooshing cool fluffs of clouds, the intertwining dimness and light. That clairvoyance of sharpness in the atmosphere... The majestic mountains had the imprinted shadows of clouds with patches of bright colour which bounced off the trees, which glittered when the light touched the droplets of water from yesternight's showers. They were capped with foggy mist, like clouds, only thinner and with a shade of blue. I have never seen anything like that before. That's Duarte and today is a new reason why I've grown to love this town.

~Benjamin 12/20/2002 10:19:00 PM

~ jeudi, décembre 19, 2002 ~

When you look deeply into the eyes of another, your souls touch. With her, I used to think that because that's how it used to be. We would talk, and joke, and laugh, and then we would look into each other's eyes and I would feel together with her... that moment is the moment when I felt most whole. Now something's wrong. I don't feel it in her eyes anymore. She looks at somebody else... Today, Her eyes wandered from mine to the one her soul cries out for. Being bored is a terrible thing. Being boring is even worse. I wasn't bored.
I've spent much of my life going through this never ending cycle of coming and going... When she came along, I thought she would never go... now she's gone. I'm not alone, but my soul is.

~Benjamin 12/19/2002 11:51:00 PM

I'm going to miss all of you... I can't believe I won't see you guys until next year. These next two weeks or so won't be the same without you. Thank goodness for lazy days and stress-free nights! I just wish that I could enjoy it with you guys. Happy Christmas Season!... Merry Christmas, and since I won't be seeing you for a while, Happy New Year to you too. =*~)

~Benjamin 12/19/2002 11:27:00 PM

~ mercredi, décembre 18, 2002 ~

Tonight has been an interesting night. I am thankful for good friends... especially those who wait for you while you are serving useless discliplinary processes like detention, talk to you and joke with you about all sorts, works with you on difficult and confusing yearbook projects on the day of the deadline, and steals the car for you, drives you to Olde Town Pasadena to purchase five quick items on a Wednesday school night, spends two hours in one store to humour your indecisiveness, takes a nice short promenade along the avenue when the air is fresh and chilly, gives you advice on the present to get for people during Christmas, drives you all the way back with morbid holiday musique in the background, talks about your other friends' fathers and their computer businesses, takes a side route to see the magical neighborhood where the residents called each other up and made their houses look like Disneyland, shows you the former homes of former friends of yours, pulls up all the way into the driveway to drop you off, and then spends the longest time trying to say goodbye. THANK YOU SAM!!! lol, I'm just kidding. You know who you are, you psycho nice person... that's your problem, you are too nice to me and I thank you for that... I really, really thank you...!

~Benjamin 12/18/2002 10:24:00 PM

~ mardi, décembre 17, 2002 ~

This is a wonderful evening!!! I love my AP Government Study Group!!! haha, I'm listening to KFI- they're talking about exorcism. I'm freaked out right now but I want to keep listening because this priest on the radio has really strong points and perspectives. In digression... Do you ever ask yourself, "Am I loved?" Laidies and Gentlemen, you are loved. I am loved. We are loved. The only thing is... we may not be loved by the people who we love... Let me ponder this a moment and I'll get back to you all...

~Benjamin 12/17/2002 11:36:00 PM

Please don't push me away... it's painful. I don't know true social pain like that of everybody else... but I still know pain and I know that feeling pain is a painful feeling. Please don't get bored with our friendship. At least don't get bored with what I'm holding on to so tightly. I wish I could talk to somebody about this... I wish I could talk to you... Fellow readers, do you know that feeling? It's like you don't trust anyone else because they probably wouldn't care? Don't push me away... just because it won't work the way you want it to, doesn't mean that it won't work at all.

~Benjamin 12/17/2002 11:30:00 PM

Well, goodness, today has been a very interesting day aye? Now I ask the world, where are you supposed to be? Haha... wow, that was interesting. Sonja, I told you that one of these days, she'll channel all her anger towards me and let it out... Ah, the result of a full bottle. hehe...
Anyway, the day was far more interesting than just that... today, I noticed how some people just don't seem to be able to take pressure well. Stress has that effect of making people get sooo tense and they look as if they just want to scream and hit someone! Thank goodness it wasn't me though. Gee, I would never want to work for them.
What else happened today? Oh! I sooo want to go to France!!! I can't believe they are going to the countryside to visit chateaus!!! I am sooo jealous! haha Oh well, I don't think my parents would let me, anyway... too many expenses... Even though I would sooo love to return to France, I'll let somebody who hasn't gone, enjoy Europe. I'll be back there when I study abroad in college, hehe... hopefully (knock knock*) Well a lot more happened today... I can't blog the rest right now because I have to go talk to my Christmas Tree (haha, don't ask.). Just rememeber this, everybody: Woman without man is just "wo".

~Benjamin 12/17/2002 05:53:00 PM

~ lundi, décembre 16, 2002 ~

Here I am once again, reporting live from Mr. Kennedy's Computer Applications class, where Benjamin is once again underprepared for an exam in Mr. Flores' AP Government class. How do you feel right now, Mr. Catabas?
"It's not that I feel apathetic (otherwise I wouldn't be studying), but I feel like I'm not able to absorb anything!!! Perhaps there is something in the air because other people feel similar... (read Sonja's blog). I'm just ready for Christmas and the holidays but school is killing it for me. I am sooo tired, I just want to go out with my..."
I'm sorry Mr. Catabas, but we are out of time now. The bell is about to ring so laidies and gentlemen, this is Benjamin Catabas signing out. Good day to you all and happy holidays.

~Benjamin 12/16/2002 09:46:00 AM

En memoire de Floy Catabas (1932-2002)