~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

~ samedi, septembre 09, 2006 ~

NEED A NEW-MAN?

In all the years that I've been part of the UCDavis Newman Center, I've heard many theories and laws governing Newman romance. A lot of people oppose it, calling it "Newmancest- a despicable practice worthy of smite". While the majority support it and have entertained, if not entered the world of Newman coupling. I'm one of those people who finds little wrong with Newman coupling so long as it doesn't interfere with Newmanites' ministries.
Throughout the past few years, Newman has seen some interesting couples, some odd combinations, some sweet unions, and some of the most desperate & aggressive singles in the Catholic world.
We've also witnessed some crazy drama, some sad conclusions, and some taboo situations. We've also witnessed some graceful separations and smooth transitions. This is my hope that when I go back to Davis, my own situation would be a graceful one.
Newman is a great place for members to meet people. It's a faith-filled environment where one can encounter the Lord personally and socially, through communion and fellowship. At the base of all our relationships is... well... in theory at least... God, and when a person finds a significant other at Newman, it's a blessing to discover that special someone who shares your faith and Love.
Of course, everybody is an expert on Newman Coupling & everybody has something to say.
So here are a few excerpts from the soon-to-be-published Newman Coupling Guide...

Ken's Rule: An active Newmanite in council or staff can couple with up to three (3) different active Newmanites of the opposite gender.
Amendment to Ken's Rule: After 3 relationships, one can seek romance elsewhere (perhaps St. James?) or seriously consider a religious vocation... or file for a PTA (permission to add) Relationship.
*Ken's Rule is never heeded.. it just gets amended over and over whenever it gets broken. This is just the current version and... eh, it's about as useless as Fr. Jack's 2nd office in the Chapel.

Derrick's "Grand Unified Theory of Newman Coupling" states: 'In general, the crazy girls get clicky; the cool girls are like, that's stupid, i'm leaving; thus, the only girls that are left are the oblivious quiet ones and the desperate competative ones. most of the guys figure that crap out eventually, so the crazy ones go after the oblivious, naive guys.'" 14 June 2005

The Jamie Amendment: Newman coupling should be totally avoided... but if it happens, it happens.

----'s Approach to Newman Courting: If she turns you down, ask the next girl that comes along. If she turns you down, ask if she has a sister. If she does not, move on to the next one... you're bound to hear a yes from SOMEBODY sometime. Poor thing.

Mary Guardado is our Resident Relationship Counselor. Need somebody to talk to? Got problems? Add them to hers! She'll just take them and use them to season her "Poor Man's Soup." Mary's gonna kill me.

then... there are others... can't type them all here but you'll just have to get the guide to find out more well-known secrets about the world of Newman Dating.
Arnell is our resident psychologist and he has much to say on the topic. I'm sure Andie and Lawrence and well... basically everybody does! Heck, even I got my own two cents.
Yet most of us would agree: The Newman Center is NOT a social club for singles and it does not exist to serve as a mere dating venue. Our primary mission is to serve the Body of Christ through college campus ministry. We welcome relationships as valuable unions if the Lord has called one to partake in them but we must firstly strive to uphold the dignity & Love of our ministries and our community.

God first. Others second. Self third.

So with that said...
This guide is going to be a fast selling one so be on the lookout for the Newman Coupling Guide filled with advice, anecdotes, laws, and practical tips on the most tragic blessing ever to hit UCD Newman. Get yours soon!

~Benjamin 9/09/2006 01:10:00 AM

God, M.D.

Late last night, I was talking with people on AIM when the phone rings... I didn't want to pick it up because I was pretty involved in my conversations. When my brother picks it up, the answering machine went on and all I heard was, "HELP! OUTSIDE!! HELP!!"
So I ran outside to see my mom standing frantically over my lolo who's lying down on the driveway pavement. He had sat on his walker a few minutes before on the sloping driveway and it rolled down and he fell. I lifted him up and assisted him to the sofa in the living room and went back to talking online. We didn't think it was serious because he was just a little shaken but still talking. After a while though, we noticed him stop talking and his body started to stiffen up. He couldn't get up and he was like paralyzed. We kept asking him how he felt and if anything was hurting. He wouldn't respond.. he just had his mouth open and stared off blankly into the distance. This is when I noticed the red stains on the front of my shirt. The back of his head was swelling and blood was coming out. Something was very wrong and we had to get him to the hospital quickly.
We carried him to the car, and sped off to Methodist Hospital in Arcadia. In the car, he still wouldn't respond to anything. His hand was soo stiff and cold, I had to move him and watch his eyes to make sure he was still alive. Before leaving, I took a vial of blessed holy oil that I got from SCRC and annointed his head with it and said some prayers, all the while laying hands upon him. My mom was going crazy remembering my lola's death in January and the prophesies in my family.
When we got to the hospital, we carried his seemingly lifeless body onto the wheelchair and brought him in... there, the doctor examined him and said everything seemed alright except he wasn't acting normal and his head was swelling badly. In ER, they CAT-scanned him and told us the results:
His fall had fractured a hole in his skull and blood was leaking in, clotting, and drowning his brain. His head kept getting bigger and bigger from the clot... the doctor informed us that they needed to do brain surgery to remove the clot & stop the bleeding. There would be a 50/50 chance that he'd make it through. Of course, if he didn't recieve the operation immediately, he would surely be dead within a few hours.
They called the surgeon who was at another hospital... and we had to wait 2 hours for him to get there. My grandfather started convulsing and violent seizures went on as my mom held his hand and I extended my hands to pray over him. Then I requested for a priest so the hospital called one for us. God bless Fr. Kevin from Holy Angels Parish... who woke from his sleep and raced over to administer extreme unction to my lolo. I'd never seen this sacrament before but it was a beautiful one. While Fr. Kevin was ministering, I knew it deep in my heart, that whatever happens, it would be the Lord's will and it would be for the best.
When the surgeon finally arrived, my lolo was wheeled into the Operating Room and we spent the next 4 hours in the ICU waiting room. I was calm and relaxed because I was soo sure that the Lord would bring him through. I had a surge of faith. Still, I promised the Lord that if my lolo was brought through, I would become an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion to the Sick. I don't know where this idea even came from but I was intent on it then and there. Still I knew that if my lolo didn't make it, I would still have the faith that it'd be the Lord's will.. and whatever His will, will happen despite our prayers.

4 hours later, the operation was over.

Praise and Honor to You, Oh Lord Jesus Christ, who guided the hands of the surgeon and now my grandfather lives. Oh Lord, You are the comfort of the afflicted. You are the healing for the sick. You are the One who hears the prayers of your sinful children. You are our God who grants us faith & hope. Thank you to Saints Thérèse, Joseph, Augustine, and Mary for your guidance and prayers. Thank You, God.

~Benjamin 9/07/2006 12:52:00 PM

STRENGTH FOR THE JOURNEY

Praise the Lord for the Catholic Charismatic Movement
SCRC was awesome... & it may very well be life-changing. I came back from a weekend of workshops, healing liturgies, and charismatic prayer. This is the Catholicism that I grew up with & I can say that I've been a part of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal for 20 years.
There are soo many people who are uneasy with charismatics... non-Catholics and Catholics alike... it's because the world is trying to rationalize God and trying to understand Him with human intellect. But God is greater than the human mind. Can a psychologist profile God? We can only understand what God wills for us to understand. Do we presume that our minds are higher than God? The Charismatic movement allows us to know and understand God through experience. Praise the Lord for experience... Augustinian experience... Christian mysticism. Sure there's room for rational knowledge (Thomasian intellect)... but intellect and experience have to balance each other (or maybe that's just the pagan libra within me).

I feel somewhat changed in some ways but unchanged in others. While I was driving to the SCRC in Anaheim, this guy cut me off on the freeway.. it was really close. Trisha's mom was in the back seat and she was like, "whoa, what's his problem?" and I was irritated too. In my mind I was thinking, "Gee, where did this motherhecker learn to drive!? How irresponsible. I oughta speed up and cut him off... see how he likes that."
When I was driving back from SCRC, I was on the freeway and another guy cut me off... it was pretty close too. In my mind though, I didn't feel irritated or angry. All I could manage to say was, "God bless that man." And I meant it. I feel a new sense of change that I must try to Love everyone even if they do me harm... even if they don't love me back. I wish the best for all peoples. There is no room in the human heart for hatred of brothers and sisters.
When I came home last night, I had a long discussion with my mom about capital punishment and the death penalty. She's a supporter and I'm definitely against it. In the past two years, I've heard talks given by Sr. Helen Prejean and Sr. Antonia Brenner, and I'm convinced that justice is compassionate, not vengeful.

Hate sins. Don't hate sinners.

There is however, one aspect in my life that I hoped would be clarified by attending this convention... but I don't know if the Lord is testing me or waiting for the right time to help me understand His will. It concerns everything I've been going through for the past 4 weeks... no... 9 months. I'm confused. I don't know where the Lord is leading me and I don't understand the role that certain people play in my life. If a certain someone has been instrumental in bringing me closer to the Lord, and when this person's instrumentality is over, what role does this person play in my life? I think loving them is the best role.. no matter how much you mean to them, when they truly mean something to you, it doesn't matter.
What role does ANYONE play in our lives? Are we all alone together? Deep in my mind, i know that I want to share my life. Deep in my heart, I don't know how. I'm getting the feeling that perhaps it is God alone with whom I shall be sharing my life... but I'm not sure about it yet. When I go back to Davis, I've got some serious discernment and tests to go through.

So anyway, to make a long story short.. had a great weekend. Learned a lot. Experienced more than I learned. Most is well. Life is good and God is Good.... all the time.

~Benjamin 9/04/2006 10:00:00 PM