~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

The thoughts of an odd duck who sits alone in a night cafe, with a stylo in his right, a journal in his left, a valise under his chaise, a tasse on the table, and plenty of time to pass.

~ Salut! Come and join me at Table #12 |Leaving so soon? Ecrivez-Moi! ~

As of right now, patrons have patronized me. I feel...

The current mood of wearytraveller at www.imood.com

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~ samedi, mars 29, 2003 ~

I've been feeling so displaced lately. I fail to know why. Anyway, it's Saturday night and everybody's out while I'm in. I used to like being in but now I wanna be out. But since I've refused invitations sortir in the past, I should've seen this coming. I think people think i'm a misanthrope, a loner, a killjoy, a gloom merchant, a sourball, a fussbudget, a gloomy Gus, a sourpuss, a wet blanket, a worry wart, a crepehanger, a cynic, a defeatist, a downer, a drag, a drip, a party pooper... an anti-social entity if you may. Since I was young, I never really went out to places much. I used to have one friend and we would bike-ride everywhere to explore our town, Duarte. That's all we would do really. The cinemas were reserved for family outings and I never really went to any parties (except for once with my cousin). I just stayed home or bike rided. hehe... rode. So anyway, when Lowell moved away, I didn't really have anyone I could call a best friend until Jr. High. Even then, I used to just bike ride with Jon and I took it a step further when I would go to Justin's house down the block to play with his Elephant game. I hadn't gone anywhere with groups of friends until the end of my freshman high school year when "my group", including David (my arch-enemy turned buddy) decided to go to Olde Town Monrovia. It would be my first exposure to group "outings", if you may. The next group outing I would attend would be in my Junior year. That was the year of my liberation and my exposure to the social life. Andréa would be the first to ever invite me anywhere. She was my liberator and might I point out, my first best female friend since pre-school when I played with Kylie in the sandbox (i still miss her even though i was 4) Hmm... that's another thing... girls were something else back then. I never thought of them as cootie carriers or cutie crushes. They were just like other people... with long hair. Of course I had my childish crushes in Jr. High but hehe... Anyway, it's only these past two years that i've really been out and about. My parents aren't used to it though so they try to stop me. They say, "You've already been out last week!" Goodness, in a way, i can't wait til college. College. Hopefully I can meet some new people there and start over in a way... of course, without forgetting the people that have shaped my youth. Why the heck did I blog about this, I have no idea but oh well, I'm bored and i don't want to get started on my Economics work. Sorry for making people read the above so now I'm going to end this because it is getting too long... The End.
No wait! Oh, ummm... nevermind.

~Benjamin 3/29/2003 10:25:00 PM

~ jeudi, mars 27, 2003 ~

Alors, today I was terribly fatigued. I fell asleep and couldn't think most of the day. My thesis for AP Government was a failure. And yet, the day was pas mal. After classes, we held a Français Study group at the local Starbucks. C'était très génial! We didn't study all that much but I was glad to finally be able to chat avec people who I usually don't associate with. It was nice to finally connaître people like Lauren (who I remember from daycare in 5th grade), and Jency (who is très interessante), and Amber (qui est très chouette). I wonder though, where did Amber's little brother come from? He just appeared out of nowhere. Hmmm... Anyway, my friends Yesenia, Sonya, Molly, and Elizabeth were there too... we had really good conversations about French, love, life, and our futures. Then they all started "girl-talking" which I should be used to hearing by now but it always seems to amaze me, the things they talk about. I don't know. I felt a bit odd though... I thought Ricardo was coming. Oh well. I wonder if Mohammed stopped by after we left mais that'd be a bit sad...hehe. Alors, I couldn't help but notice that everyone was speaking Français. I was impressed to find that there is beaucoup de potential in everyone when it comes to learning the language. Bonne chance avec l'examen de français demain! Dans un region ou c'est rarement trouver quelque'un qui parle français, je suis heaureux savoir qu'il y a des personnes qui en parle et plus.

~Benjamin 3/27/2003 11:01:00 PM

~ mardi, mars 25, 2003 ~

Some people just have to learn to let go.

~Benjamin 3/25/2003 11:27:00 PM

Is there anybody interested in listening to my story, all about a girl who found no love? What about my other little, sad, sad story all about the guy who thought he did? Now let's say perchance that these two had met... in a crowded room amidst the cries of other lonely girls and other lonely guys. Let's say they thought each other to be worthy to start a story... What sort of ending would there be? What sort of fin could we see? Can you tell me what you think about my short, short story, all about a girl who had but all. Can you tell me what you think about my short, short story, all about the guy who thought it all? Girl... Guy... meet... first.... time... what... sparked... and what... a sight.

~Benjamin 3/25/2003 11:14:00 PM

~ lundi, mars 24, 2003 ~

Have you ever noticed monopolies? They have them in economics and in politics. Look at Microsoft and the railroad industry. Look at the Republicans. But what about in society? Monopolies exist among friendships. Relationships can become fierce competitions and the whole meaning of the thing gets lost. Some people can't enter the social arena without facing hard trials... They climb and the ladder is pushed down by the comrade guardians of the fortress. Then there are societies of friends that are established as kindof "knock-off" groups that the monopoly looks down on. The truth is that sometimes, there's just no room for the socially weak. The services are limited and who can really say that they serve the common good?

~Benjamin 3/24/2003 07:44:00 PM

~ dimanche, mars 23, 2003 ~

What a crazy last post. Makes you think as if someone likes me haha... So anyway, I kicked off the season with my annual spring cleaning. Dusting, rearranging, washing, sweeping, vacuuming, disinfecting and deodorizing. I'm ashamed to say I rather enjoyed myself. What can I say, sometimes I just love to clean. There's something about being able to put things in order and making things neat that makes me feel as if I'm changing the world. One day i'll be sitting among a small group of odd people in a perfect circle admitting, "Hello, my name is Benjamin and I'm compulsive." Yesterday, I tried in vain to clean the classroom of my AP English instructor, Dr. Brown. By the end of the day, desks were disarranged across the room, trash was littered all over the floor, and books were dishevelled on the shelves. Dr. Brown's class is a lost cause. On the other hand, I am successfully maintaining the classroom of my French teacher, Mlle. Pulido. A desk or two would get misaligned once in a while but not drastically. I noticed that my Yearbook class is the messiest bunch of hoodlums that... haha. That infamous gang is very much guilty of committing such deeds as paper shuffling, and the ever so terrible desk swapping. Goodness.
I certainly hope that my college roommate doesn't turn out to be a notorious punk rock poster hanger, nail-clipping thrower, magazine stacker, clothing scatterer, unfolded bedsheet leaver, bedwetter, uncontrolled flatulator, pillow on the floor placer, candy wrapper litterer, uncoordinated pee-er... the list goes on. I really want a girl roommate because guys really can be icky. Hmmm... that didn't sound right. But wait, girls can be just as bad. I may be doomed. I've noticed that some people just don't know how to dust computers, vacuum the edges of carpets, align books on shelves, patch holes in walls, twist-tie cords, shine mirrors, properly dispose of used cotton swabs (Q-tips), etc. Hmmm... Than again, the other extreme side of the spectrum must be examined. I don't want to be too clean. What if I were forced to live with a person who wanted everything clean and disinfected, white and plain? That would be terrible. I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't appreciate a good rearranging rampage. I need change after all. Otherwise, everything would be too boring. I would like to live with someone who can admire collections of antiquities and nighty-lit candles... a person who can appreciate soft classical, opera, swing, and jazz background music... a person who will tolerate fits of rage and telephones being hurled against the wall across the room. haha... I'm crazy. But anyway, my meeting someone like that calls for a slim chance... or is it fat chance? hmmm... no chance.

~Benjamin 3/23/2003 12:00:00 AM

En memoire de Floy Catabas (1932-2002)