~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

~ samedi, août 26, 2006 ~

RIGHT ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER!?

I didn't know that home remodeling could be so... sexy.
I just returned from a Home Remodeling & Decorating Show in Pasadena and it was verrrry interesting. I don't even know where to begin.. ohh let's start with the hot tub & spa dealers. Picture this: tall young women in über tight jeans and low-cut white halter tops. From the safe distance, I observed them talking about how the spa jet streams can really relax the tension in your bodies... it was funny to see much older middle-aged men in hawaiian shirts and white slacks fall victim to their bubbly personalities, agreeing to giving them $20 deposits for home estimates.
I was walking around and I stopped to grab something from this girl who was handing out information about granite countertops.. I ended up just grabbing a flyer (I missed). Anyway, maybe it was the way I was dressed and the way I was carrying myself but for some reason, she was under the impression that I owned my own home and I was thinking about refacing my kitchen counters with 1/4" granite slabs. She showed me a couple samples. I don't know if it's because I'm short or what.. but she kept leaning down against the counters to reveal her own tops. I mean, not that I was looking there.. but dang. These slabs had some smooth curves.
I've never seen any place like this before.. it was crazy. The French windows & doors were sold by tall blonde girls, who, in an obviously coy manner, kept flipping their hair back and biting their lips. There was something about the way they said, "smooth flowing double motion"... and "screen mesh" too. Oh the fact that they had Swedish accents probably made a difference.
Oh, but I make it seem like it was just the ladies. No way! Most of the people attending the convention were women in the first place and unless they enjoy wallpaper on wallpaper action, there were also tall young guys in slate-toned shirts and slacks selling quartz, bamboo cabinets, and long hard wood... flooring. This one guy was selling a combination jewelry/mirror cleaner. He'd ask young ladies passing by to hold out their hands so he could clean their rings. Oh but nooo, the trick is that they can't take off their rings from their fingers... nooo way. As he told us, "Oh no, just let me clean the ring while you wear it so that you make sure I won't steal it." What kind of explanation was that? I like the extra comments about the ladies' smooth skin... enough to make a husband turn green as jade. Soo.. this is the world of home design.
I ended up buying a knife set from a delightful modest young lady who gave me an awesome deal. They're sooo awesomeee... the knives I mean. I love how they're full tang. They're forged from high-carbon German steel... in a 32 piece cutlery set... that I get to carry in its own leather briefcase!!!
To add to my culinary kit.. I get excited just admiring the sleek curves, the smooth blade, the sharp edges, the pointed end... oh baby, that's right.

~Benjamin 8/26/2006 09:57:00 PM

SAM I AM?

There are people who tell me, "I know who you are. I know you and everything about you."
I say to them, "No, you don't know me." By saying what they say, they think they know me but they really don't.
Then there are those who say, "I don't know you very well. I can't pinpoint you. I just don't understand you."
To many of them I say, "You know me better than you think. You do know me, you just don't know that you know me."
And for the most part.. this is true. I'm not that hard to figure out people! But I'm not that easy either. I, like the rest of the world, open myself up differently to different people and few of you if any of you know my whole self. You may know how I behave, my likes and dislikes, my friends, what I eat, what I like to do, my interests, but those are all just parts of me.. but not the whole me.
There are some of you who know things about me that are not known by other people.. and be assured that other people know things about me that you don't know.
One day, somebody is going to come along and really know me with the help of the Lord who opens minds and hearts.
I'm looking for that person.. maybe they can tell me who I'm not.

~Benjamin 8/26/2006 12:46:00 AM

AND THEN THERE WERE 3...

Oh my gosh... this blog is like, the "Heartbreak Blog" now.. that's all I ever seem to talk about.. but I can't help it... this week, yet another one of my friends is breaking up with her boyfriend of 4 months. Damn!! That's 3 breakups in the past 3 weeks!! Amazing! What is it about the Summer that is bad for relationships!? If I believed in luck, I'd say this is all bad luck.. but thank God there's a reason for everything. Maybe it's the hot weather. Yeah, that's it.. freakin summer. Pray for those in relationships dear friends, please pray hard!
wait... then there are those who are experiencing budding relationships.. ahem saanj ahem... do you think breakups happen because of an inbalance in the world relationship quota... and to make room for other couples in the romantic landscape, somehow others must be umm.. dismantled? Nahh.. that's just libra thinking.

~Benjamin 8/24/2006 03:34:00 PM

DAMN! GIRL BE SMOKIN!

So this morning, I was out smoking a cigarette and my mom came out and caught me and she was sooo pissed. Oh yeah... by "morning" I mean "evening"; by "cigarette" I mean "pound cake"; by "smoking" I mean "eating"; and by "pissed" I mean "pissed." She had baked a pound cake for dessert and I thought it was appetizer. It was quite delishous.
I used to be curious about trying cigarettes but Deputy Bryant's pictures of burnt-looking lungs in 3rd grade totally scared the heebeejeebees outta me so I never did. Thank goodness. But I can recall when my cousin got into smoking... he used to hide it from our family by keeping them in my cargo pants pockets. I'd be digging through my pants and I'd find 2 boxes of unfiltered Camel. Lots of friends of mine got into smoking in high school... I was never too happy about that at all.
Cigarette smoke.. gotta be one of the worst smells ever.. it's up there with burning hair and sweaty feet stomping moldy JELLO. I don't understand how Sonya could love that smell! haha.. I'm jk Sonj. But you know.. I gotta admit cigars smell good for some reason.

OK, there really isn't much of a point to this post except maybe:
Ask your mom before eating her pastry creations.

..oh, and don't smoke.

have a good night ya'll.

~Benjamin 8/23/2006 11:50:00 PM

UNBREAK HIS/HER HEART

I feel very sad for a friend who's boyfriend is breaking up with her.. she's been calling me every night for the past 3 nights draining her eyes of tears. I'm there to listen, of course... but the thing is that I hadn't talked to her in over 4 months! She just called me right out of the blue and wanted somebody to listen.. I was very confused at first and I wondered, "why me, Lord?"
Then I realized...
It's been a little over week since the end of my relationship. The way mine ended is almost exactly the way my friend's is ending... same reasons, same confusion, same situation. The only difference is that while Trisha & I have decided to remain good friends, my friend's now-ex doesn't even want the friendship. That must hurt soo bad... I can only imagine.
What do you tell a friend who's going through this sort of thing? Whew, I can tell you what NOT to say!! When I was getting over my break-up, I tried to find comfort in my friends.. some of them said things that were very cool and sweet while others were very not-helpful. In the attempt to maybe help the world become a better friend to the broken-hearted, I present a short pocket guide to all you friends out there who will at some point in your life, if it hasn't already happened, recieve a telephone call from a sobbing friend at 3:12AM, or recieve an unexpected teary-eyed guest at home during your favorite tv show. So gather round ladies & gents, this is Benjamin's guide to "Comforting a Broken-Hearted Friend."

Things you probably don't want to say to the broken-hearted:
01) "Don't worry... there're plenty of other guys/girls out there."
02) "I told you this would happen." (What kind of friend says this!?)
03) "You'll find somebody else."
04) "You're just being stupid." (G'ness, I heard this one once & it made me soo angry.)
05) "Stop crying. He/she's not worth your tears." (Maybe not, but the end of the relationship was.)
06) "Oh, your situation isn't as bad as what I had to go through." OR "I know exactly how you feel."
07) "Hrmm... so today I went to the bank & blah blah blah" (Don't start talking about yourself just to fill in awkward silence.)
08) "Have you ever considered turning gay/straight?" (well depending on the person, this might actually be funny.)
09) "Wow, you shouldn't have done that..." OR "You should've..." (It's too late for these.)
10) "He/she is ewww. How could you go for somebody like that?" (Are you questioning your friend's taste?)
11) "Well, I gotta go now. Feel better. Ok, bye. [click]"
12) "There's no use crying." (crying can be therapeutic... and it's totally ok to cry.)

Other advice to you:

13) Don't give advice unless your friend really asks you for it.
14) Just listen. Most broken-hearted people just need somebody to listen. If the awkward silence comes up, let it. You don't have to say anything. It may feel awkward to you but they probably don't even realize it, or care. But don't fall asleep (even if it's 4:32AM)!! If you're on the phone, let them know you're still on the line listening.
15) Don't crack grippa jokes or risk appearing insensitive.
16) Don't stop them from crying.. as I said above, they have a right to and for them, it feels good sometimes after a good cry.. plus it's part of the healing process.. BUT also, don't make them cry. you can encourage it, but don't force it or they'll be crying forever.
17) Don't lecture them on true Love. If you discredit whatever "love" they felt, they'll feel insecure and embarassed.. this is not the time to do this.
18) It's ok to tell them that things'll be ok.. that they'll eventually get over it... but don't you dare tell this to them bluntly like that. Sugarcoat it.. say something like, "there's always sun over the clouds" or tell them that it's impossible to see it now, but one day things'll get better and everything is going to be alright. They can take as much time as they need.
19) Don't try to actively change the subject in the attempt to get their mind off of the situation. Do it in a way that they don't realize you're changing the subject... take cues from the person.. But be aware that if they change the subject but then change back, let it happen. Your role in the conversation is verrrry passive.. so let him/her pass! Here are two examples of subject changing:
A) BAD= "Oh, yeah, God is the architect of your life. I'm sorry you feel this way. But hey, have you ever looked up in a Cathedral and admired the marvelous architecture? Hrmm.. I wonder how they built those flying butresses. Those 17th century architects were amazing!"
B) Heartbroken: "I haven't been able to eat at all. Can you believe I turned down my mom's baklava last night!?"
You: "oh wow, you must really be in pain. Her baklava must be good though."
Heartbroken: "yeah, it is. When i was a kid I used to eat it all the time..."
You: "oh yeah? just your mom's baklava?"
Heartbroken: "Just my mom's. She adds globs of mustard to her recipe. That's what I like about it..."
...and on goes the distraction.
But if he/she suddenly goes back to the topic of her ex-significant other, let him/her. It's ok.. just wait for other cues for subject changes.
Don't be overeager to change the topic and remain on the new one. So don't let the conversation continue like this:
Heartbroken: "yeah, I always wanted to learn to make her baklava. My ex used to come over a lot and my mom'd make it for both of us and she'd write our initials together on the top of the pastry. Oh my gosh.. I miss him/her sooo much!! How am I going to get through this!?!?"
You: "Hrmm.. well baklava is absolutely delish. So your Chinese mom makes baklava! Gee, and I thought baklava was created by the Assyrians in the 8th century BC."

...ok, sorry, that was quite over-exagerrated but... I think you know what i mean.

20) If it's true, tell your friend that you love him/her. Always maintain eye contact. Hug him/her. Embrace them and let them feel your comforting touch. Let them know that somebody in the world loves them and sympathizes with them.
Don't say, "I'm sorry." Show it. Don't bring up their break-up every single time you see them.. if they're getting better, reminding them of the ex makes it worse... but don't turn a blind eye to their mourning either.

When they're pouring their emotions from the cracks of their broken heart, just LISTEN. You can tell them things like, "I can only imagine how terrible you must feel. I wish I could do/say something to give you comfort. That must be soooo hard to get through. I'm sure things'll get better and you can move on with your life, but for now it must be torture not being able to realize that. I'll be praying for you."
And really pray for them. The Lord will listen if you pray for your friend. He has plans for all of us... we just have to accept them.. and it's not easy to do that but His will always takes precedence over ours.. and if we follow Him, we can be led to true HAPPINESS.

So be a sympathetic friend. Let him/her speak. All break-ups are different.. so some of this advice might not work. Feel it out. Remember that it's your friend's experience. Not yours. be gentle. Be there for her/him and know that because of God, they can have a loving friend in you as well.

For Café de Terrasse, this is Benjamin Catabas, saying, thank you to all my friends. Good day and God Bless.

PS- One of my friends tells me that ice cream and chocolate works wonders for heartbroken women in particular. Oh and don't try to comfort your friend with alcohol, sleeping pills, or cigarettes.. that's doing more harm than good.

If you have any complaints about what I wrote above, feel free to tell me. Or if you have any suggestions to add to this list, those are always welcome. Go ahead and spark a revolution!

~Benjamin 8/22/2006 02:21:00 AM