~ °Café de Terrasse° ~
The thoughts of an odd duck who sits alone in a night cafe, with a stylo in his right, a journal in his left, a valise under his chaise, a tasse on the table, and plenty of time to pass.
~ vendredi, février 14, 2003 ~
what can i say? it's Valentine's Day and i'm home alone again this year. My parents went on a date, my siblings are somewhere. i used to spend valentine's with my dog. we would play fetch in the backyard but now hes gone. the sky is red. i was up, sitting on top of my roof hoping to catch the love in the air. i did that this afternoon but all i caught was a light cough. hope. it's just a four lettre word. so is love. that's all. but damnit, its a four letter word that i wish i had. a four letter word in the form of a noun. and then a two-letter possessive word before it. i have the storge and the eros and the philio, thank goodness, but where's the pre-Agape? i'm not alone in this feeling. this is how i felt until i was touched this afternoon by an article on the back page of the Falcon Chronicle. never have i ever felt so connected to anybody before. twas an anonymously written article about lonely people on valentines. I read it and my eyes began to moisten. i wanted to find the person who wrote that article and embrace her because she poured her heart out and in doing so, poured out mine too. I was taken to a place where i knew i was a stranger yet i felt so part. i was taken to contemplation and i thought about how i've been complaining about my not having found anyone and my feeling so lonely. I thought about how much i couldn't bear to watch couples- blessed persons that have found close and loving significant others who find them so in return. Then i realized that love isn't something i can just find. it's something i must give. something i must do. something i must earn. love is love and when i do find it, it would be something truly special and she would be someone truly special. i understand it's not my turn yet but when i love, i don't want it to be just something for the sake of loving, i want it to be something for the sake of being. love is not something for me. it's something for us. From what i understand, it's not just a feeling. it's a being. love is worth the wait. It's the quality of time you spend with another and all the efforts you input before you fall under its spell and it becomes something mutual. Ah love, the bitter sweet love. Like coffee you can take it bitterly or sweet. Some see it as an appetizer, others as dessert. I prefer to see it as my main dish. Choose your course wisely. Happy Valentine's Day~ jeudi, février 13, 2003 ~
~Benjamin 2/14/2003 09:55:00 PM
So we have a new computer applications instructor! I think his name is Mr. Sauceda or something like that... I want to call him Mr. Saucy. Anyway, he seems nice but... not really. Well i'm not one to judge but... hehe. He is nooooo Mr. Kennedy, I tell you that. He seems rather... Well, let me just say that he loves to talk about himself a lot. Thank goodness he's an interesting person... otherwise, I would have fallen asleep. hehe...~ mardi, février 11, 2003 ~
~Benjamin 2/13/2003 05:36:00 PM
It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring, It's raining , it's pouring...~ dimanche, février 09, 2003 ~
~Benjamin 2/11/2003 08:08:00 AM
Some people have dance, some have song, some have jokes, some have sports, some have drama. I have... something that nobody cares for. I have something that nobody wants. Now what am i to do with it? It's a different world I live in... doesn't anybody share my world? Some of you do. Most of you don't. Goodbye.
~Benjamin 2/09/2003 09:03:00 PM
