~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

The thoughts of an odd duck who sits alone in a night cafe, with a stylo in his right, a journal in his left, a valise under his chaise, a tasse on the table, and plenty of time to pass.

~ Salut! Come and join me at Table #12 |Leaving so soon? Ecrivez-Moi! ~

As of right now, patrons have patronized me. I feel...

The current mood of wearytraveller at www.imood.com

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~ dimanche, février 02, 2003 ~

Hmmm... haha... I don't think "fakely" is a word. hmm... oh well. hehe

~Benjamin 2/02/2003 12:46:00 AM

Loss of innocence? It's a sad thing... but welcome to the world. Yeah, I lost it when I fell. Now I want to go back up but I can't. All i can do is try to get as high up as possible. Why does the world have to be such an un-innocent world? Thank goodness for the very few people who are still so. For those of you who have lost it, welcome to the real world which is really fake and fakely real.

~Benjamin 2/02/2003 12:46:00 AM

~ samedi, février 01, 2003 ~

My sympathies go out to the lost crew of the Spaceshuttle Columbia today.

~Benjamin 2/01/2003 10:22:00 PM

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! Gung Hay Fat Choy!!! It is the year 4701 of the...Black Sheep!!!

~Benjamin 2/01/2003 10:21:00 PM

~ vendredi, janvier 31, 2003 ~

Yay! I helped my mommy cook crabs today. Awww, poor little things... they had to be boiled alive. But anyway, they taste soo good! mmmm

~Benjamin 1/31/2003 10:14:00 PM

Just a curious observation... why is it soo difficult to shop with women? Goodness, why must they insist on trying on every single article of clothing without the intention of purchasing it? I'll never understand my cousins and my mother. So we were at the clothing shoppe for like 3 hours, I got rather tired looking at the oriental rugs so i went and saw what my mother and cousins were doing. They were trying on everything! After my cousins left, my mother and I stayed behind and we ended up coming home with nothing. Goodness!!! It makes absolutely no sense!
So I come home and my sister's little 6th grade friends are here. These girls are crazy little ankle-biters. They are being nosey and exploring my house. Oh, the doorbell! [7 mins later] Thank goodness some of them went home. Ahh! They left a huge mess in the parlour! Damn. Well please excuse me... I think I'm going to lock my sister and her friend in the closet while I tidy up a bit... hehehe

~Benjamin 1/31/2003 10:09:00 PM

~ jeudi, janvier 30, 2003 ~

She will always be, l'une qui, je voudrais être avec si, elle a l'amour, and ditto for me. I apologize to all my readers for the french... I am in a frenchy mood today and I felt that my feelings are best expressed in french since that's how i expressed my sentiments to certain particular people in letters, poetry and speech over the past two years. Et la vérité est manifesté.

~Benjamin 1/30/2003 11:30:00 PM

I missed her. Now we are going our own ways without la chance to know each other better. She doesn't know about this but if she were to translate, only she would know que je veux dire and that it is of her whom I speak. C'est possible to regain what we were going to have mais alors, nous avons fini. Je suis fini. J'ai pense qu'elle etait la seulement une. Maintenant, je sais que ça, ce n'est pas vrai. Et je sais que je suis coupable. Je me detest. Je ne peux pas le contrôler et je sais pourquoi. Mais la raison est un mystere. Pour les deux ans, je pensais que ma vie serai plus fort... avec beaucoup de bonheur. J'ai espéré toujours pour quelque chose arriver mais les seulement passer est la mort de l'amour. Alors, pendant que je suis ici, je pense que je ne peux pas faire les choses que je faisais. Je sais qu'elle est fatigue de mes pitreries. Nous n'avons pas du etre ensemble bien mais ons aurions été peut-etre meilleur. Goodness, a cause de moi, rien est grave mais rien est serieux et nous ne pouvons plus etre serieux. There are doubts and I know of them... tell me to recite again and I will show you l'inondation de mon coeur.

~Benjamin 1/30/2003 05:42:00 PM

~ mercredi, janvier 29, 2003 ~

Today was my premier day of Economics class with Leach. That course is sooo easy!!! Tout est simple! I'm sortof glad i don't have Mr. Flores because I don't need all the extra stress... I'm still taking six periods, contrary to what 90% of the rest of the Senior class is doing. I don't know... I can't get myself to drop any class. I mean, I don't really need my Computer Applications Course but that's the class where i can use high-speed internet for my last-minute homework assignments and exam study. I can't drop Economics because I need it for graduation. I love AP Government class even though it is demanding. AP English class is sometimes a pain, but I can handle it. I would never drop yearbook because I love that class. French III... well, J'adore français!!! I may be crazy but I've been thinking about taking on a Saturday class for Computer repair. Mr. Kennedy recommended that I take that course. He said that if I take it, in the future he would offer me a job writing computer manuals. I said wow but maybe because I'm not really interested in technics but I would give it a try because it would be quite an experience to write instructional manuals. So school is not really stressful yet at this point. I mean, it's only the beginning of the semester. But we'll see how eveything turns out. I'm working even harder in Flores' class ever since the incident two days ago. For yearbook, i'm in a rather tight jam but I hope to resolve it soon. AP English is not difficult...yet. French is really vraiment chouette maintenant. So that's an update on my academia status.

~Benjamin 1/29/2003 07:52:00 PM

So i hear that Justin got into USC! Ugh, I'm not speaking to him... I'm sooo jealous. haha but that is wonderful!!! Well, it's not much of a surprise, I mean, he is Justin lol. Goodness, i feel really good for him... it must feel like ciel to know that you got into USC!!! Wow. Then wait until he recieves his Stanford Acceptance letter. haha GOOD JOB JUSTIN!!! Celebrate good times, c'mon!!!

~Benjamin 1/29/2003 07:30:00 PM

~ mardi, janvier 28, 2003 ~

I really do want to fly fly far far away from here but i'm worried about leaving my family and friends. I want to crawl under a stone and scream from the bottom of my lungs to the top of my breath but I don't want to get a sore throat. Hmm... I want to start over with some people and move forward with others. I want to make a new impression on those who don't like me. I know who some of you are and I know there are many of you who are soo annoyed by me and I'm supposed to say that I don't care but... that's my problem. I care. I'm like a politician who... damn... no i'm not. I see how much of a fool i make myself out to be when i take on leadership positions. I can be more firm but in a passive way. I need to learn the active way. Anyway, those of you who converse under the cover of smiley façades about my bizarre ways, and those of you who look at me with contemptuous disdain and a low disapproving sense towards high mediocrity, I want to inform you that I'm just starting to do my best and I am welcome to any suggestions on how I can improve myself but I will not lose myself in the process ... [Break away to thought... 21 minutes later] Well i've just been pondering and staring at the lucid irrationality of the elipses I just typed. Why do i care so much about what people think? It's because I don't know what to think about myself yet so I look for myself in other people. I'm not a bourn leader. I'm a bourn analyst. That's who I am. I'm a critical-of-cynics, cynical-of-critics example of modern melancholyism. I belong in the third realm of social persona. It's a troubling state but one that makes sense for me. I must've lost you in my discovery above. I'm sorry... I really am. I'm sorry you may not understand me and I may not understand you because your complexion is technical in the like under philio-psych. Well if you are still reading this... think about this: I matter to me, you matter to you. We matter to us, almost as well as to God who matters.

~Benjamin 1/28/2003 09:22:00 PM

En memoire de Floy Catabas (1932-2002)