~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

The thoughts of an odd duck who sits alone in a night cafe, with a stylo in his right, a journal in his left, a valise under his chaise, a tasse on the table, and plenty of time to pass.

~ Salut! Come and join me at Table #12 |Leaving so soon? Ecrivez-Moi! ~

As of right now, patrons have patronized me. I feel...

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~ dimanche, novembre 21, 2004 ~

I need something to look forward to, something to live for. I need to take a step back and reexamine my priorities. I have a feeling that its kinda messed up right now. I'm living day to day without cause. I'm not enjoying college as much as before and my friends are there but I don't really care. Classes are dragging on & on & on. Newman, as awesome as it is, is becoming too heavy. I can't believe I spent 13 hours at Newman the other day... I felt like it was a waste of time after the 7th hour.
I feel lost. I hope that this is not how my life is going to end up... I need goals that I can work for everyday. I need to feel part of some bigger cause. But I'm also afraid that I'm feeling a little indifferent about everything... kindof like Meursault in L'etranger... God forbid I turn out like that. A guy needs ambition. A little hope to put some sense back into life. Some excitement plus love.
I want to leave for awhile.. just go out exploring and experiencing new things... going out to a foreign place to search for myself... kind of like that guy and the mountaintop and the smoking fire thingy, you kno. Anyway, that's it, I just need to go out on my own for a bit... and Thanksgiving Break is coming up... it's not quite a year, but a few days will do; it takes a few seconds of realization, but a lifetime of searching. On me dit c'est la vie, mais c'est quoi la vie?

~Benjamin 11/21/2004 10:43:00 PM

~ samedi, novembre 20, 2004 ~

Finally, cream cheese has been on sale @ Albertson's and so I am able to experiment with Vince's Cheesecake Recipe. I think i'm going insane. I have baked 12 cheese pies already. In the past 3 weeks, I have purchased 27 bars of cream cheese and I have a rain check for at least 10 more. Experimenting, practicing, perfecting the recipe... I have a problem with this huge crack that tends to appear in the center of the custard... I don't know if it's because of the temperature or what, but if anybody knows cheesecake, please help.
Tomorrow I have a Spaghetti Dinner fundraiser to attend for the Tijuana House Building Project, a project through the Newman Center wherein 25 of us go down to Mexico and build a house for an impoverished family over Winter Break. I still don't know if I should go because it means I won't be home from 26 Dec to 3 January. That's a lot of holiday time away from home. haha, david's gonna kill me.
So anyway, I also have a concert to attend at the Mondavi Center to watch the UCD Symphony Orchestra tomorrow night. And you know what's great? My friend Cindi is a violinist for the UCDSO, et alors, I recieved my ticket gratuit. She's so awesome.
Thanksgiving Break is coming up this weekend... I'm not going home to Duarte so I think a few of us here are going to have our own feast. I'm making the turkey! gobble gobble, gobble gobble sqawk squawk.. for now, tout est bien.

~Benjamin 11/20/2004 11:51:00 PM

En memoire de Floy Catabas (1932-2002)