~ °Café de Terrasse° ~

The thoughts of an odd duck who sits alone in a night cafe, with a stylo in his right, a journal in his left, a valise under his chaise, a tasse on the table, and plenty of time to pass.

~ Salut! Come and join me at Table #12 |Leaving so soon? Ecrivez-Moi! ~

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~ dimanche, mars 13, 2005 ~

I am soo detached from Hamm House people. My social group has changed... I'm totally Newman now. Of course, Emil, Kristen, Vincent, Aubree, Andie, and sometimes Seun, and rarely Pilar, you could say, are the only Hamm Housers I still see or hang out with, but that's 7 out of like, 40 people. They've just kinda taken the back seat and Newman's riding shotgun with the seat rolled back. It was meant to be. I don't regret the change. I just don't want to seem like I'm abandoning Hamm Housers for no reason... I'm neither abandoning them nor am I leaving them for no reason. I changed groups because I feel more connected to the people I'm with now... I kinda feel more like I belong. While I'm still struggling to find my place at Newman, I feel like I'm getting closer. I feel more connected with Newmanites... more open to them... and closer to God somehow.
I like knowing that I can go to Newman at any time of any day or any night, and find somebody there to hang out with, or talk to, or even just see.
I'm having problems with this Relay for Life thing. I'm not doing it with Newman... I'm doing it with Hamm House Alumni. And it's not working very well for me. I'm not as motivated as I thought... and it's not about Relay for Life, goodness knows I want to help cancer victims and I am looking forward to this event, but maybe it's the people. Now, i like Lil and Stace and all the former Hamm Housers, with the exception of 1 or 2 ppl, but i hope that these people know that. This team thing isn't workin out right for me. I don't feel like part of the team anymore. I just want to show my support at Relay for Life and hopefully make some sort of difference. I'm not going to switch teams because I made a commitment to be on the Bananas' team. See, now there's another thing... let me digress a bit... I don't even know what the heck this banana thing is all about. Seriously, it's getting frustrating... because I'm a banana and I don't understand why or what the heck that means. I wasn't there when Hamm Housers became bananas. Why are we a bunch of fruits? haha, that sounded weird.
But anywho, what was I saying? oh yeah, umm... I don't know. I'm busy with Newman these days too... workin 2 jobs there... council & facilities. I haven't been able to go to any of the Hamm House Relay for Life meetings because of my weekend job responsibilities. Fundraising has been bad too because I haven't been able to go to Tapioca Express on Mondays or Tuesdays because of Newman meetings, job duties, and events.
Then, there's school. good ol' school. Class duties... studying, homework, assignments... even those have taken a back seat! And there's the family back home... my mom, my dad, my bro & sis... all taken a back seat. I'm out of backseat space so my friends from back home... they're riding in the trunk... many of them have fallen out of the vehicle altogether.
Oh man, I don't know where my priorities are. I'm just hoping that God is my pilot all the way through all this. I don't know if I'm going to apply for Staff. Another job... close to full time... but its more than just a job... it's an enriching experience I'm sure... an honor, a real opportunity to serve.
Then there's this UCD Culture of Life group that we're spearheading... and its not really a Newman-affiliated thing... it's a campus-wide thing. I don't know, but I have a feeling that's might take up quite a bit of my time this coming quarter and this next year.
And Kristen & I want to start a Foreign & Vintage Film Appreciation Organization on campus... we would become board members... and deal with SPAC and all that... umm, i dunno if this one will ever happen.
Then I also have the whole UCDavis Campus Ambassador tour guide thing... that's gonna be awesomely fun but tiring too. I have wayy too much to do. Man, so here's my situation.. I have oodles more to say but it's late and i'm tired. Good night everybody!

~Benjamin 3/13/2005 12:56:00 AM

~ lundi, mars 07, 2005 ~

So we've settled it. Stephen, Michael, and Kenneth are living with Emiliano & I next year and it's going to be awesomeeeee... The only thing is that I hope Emiliano doesn't mind the Newmanites + 1 configuration. Man, have we all got plans.
In other news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLIAN & MOTTS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALSO TO JESSICA!
the big 2-0. Times flies when you're getting old. aye?

In other news, guess who has a cell phone now! If you guessed Colin, you're wrong! It's Emil! No, you're wrong again! It's MEEEEEEEEEEEE! 1-mambohelix... that's me number... err letter. So for a good time ;) , call 1-mambo helix, guaranteed to make your DNA do the mambo Frenchiano. uh huh, yupp, das rite now, get down wit yo bad selfs

So in other news, I'm soo worried about my job certification exam tomorrow. Ooh man, I haven't even completely learned the 15-page script and I haven't exactly mastered the art of walking backwards. I just hope I do real well so I can start giving my tours... and especially private tours for private people. wink* wink* If you'd like a private tour, call me. You've got the number.. and ask for Benjamin. ;D

~Benjamin 3/07/2005 11:24:00 PM

En memoire de Floy Catabas (1932-2002)